But
sometimes it can seem that the longer we are with someone, the more
hurdles we come up against and the further we move in opposite
directions.Before too long, it becomes all too easy for outside sources
of stress to pervade our happy bubble, and what were initially
resolvable quarrels become potential deal-breakers.
Tension within
a partnership can arise due to a multitude of factors. Some can be
external - such as the loss of a job or the illness of a loved one,
whereas others can come about due to problems within the union itself -
for example, conflicting feelings about having children, or one or more
partner being unfaithful.
Sometimes a conflict can seem small at
first, so we brush it under the carpet in the hope that it won't
resurface. But more often than not, issues that go unaddressed will
manifest themselves subtly in the behaviour of both parties and can
eventually cause irreparable damage.
You and your partner may even
be fighting for reasons unknown to you both. Perhaps there is a strain
on your relationship that's causing you to argue, but you don't know
what it is? Talking to someone about your troubles may help you uncover
the reasons why you're struggling.
Whether you've been in a
relationship with your partner for a matter of months, years or decades,
no doubt you'll be faced with conflict from time to time. But even if
things are peachy, even the healthiest of couples can benefit from a
regular sounding board for their thoughts and feelings.
Most of us
will go to friends and family when we need to talk about our problems.
But advice from those closes to us can sometimes seem biased or
indicative of an ulterior motive - even if it's as innocent as wanting
to spend more time with you.
Turning to loved ones when you've had
an argument with your significant other could also damage their
relationship. Having to explain to your mother or sister that your
partner has been unfaithful, for example, can paint them as the bad guy,
when in actual fact the circumstances from which infidelity occurs are
often more complicated than that.
If you wish to keep your
problems private but still feel the need to share them, consulting a
licensed relationship or marriage therapist might be the answer. An
impartial listener can be the key to getting to the route of a
relationship problem and untangle the weeds grown over your previously
greener pastures.
Whether it's as simple as learning to appreciate
one another again by spending more time as a couple, or as complex as
years of undue resentment, distrust or sexual differences, a licensed
therapist will be able to help you get back to the roots from which your
partnership first flourished.
Therapists can either see you each
on a one-to-one basis, or as a couple, and will offer each of you the
chance to speak freely without interruption. From there, they will be
able to help you address the root of the problem, as well as offering
constructive advice on how you can move forwards together.
You and
your partner will usually be given the option of attending a private
therapy room, or being counselled in the comfort and safety of your own
home.
Your session will be undertaken by a qualified therapist,
specialising in couple's therapy. Most practitioners employ a range of
approaches to find the best fit for each patient. But you don't need to
feel daunted - mostly they will just want to sit and chat with you and
your spouse and help you work together to resolve your issues.
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